- A platypus once stole a roast beef sandwich from my lunchbox
- A platypus taught Fred Durst how to rap
- Seriously, I really wanted that roast beef sandwich
- A platypus slept with my prom date
- Platypuses look really, really weird
- The plural of “platypus” is not “platypi”
- A platypus invented roaming charges
- A platypus broke the curve on my Econ final freshman year
- Platypuses are the reason they never show Hey Arnold on Nickelodeon anymore
- A platypus co-wrote “Who Let the Dogs Out”
- Mao Zedong was really a platypus in an elaborate costume
- A platypus will turn you to stone if you stare directly into its eyes
- Platypuses are conniving, money-grubbing, power-hungry schemers
- The platypus is the cause of every major wart in history
- Mount Everest is just Nepal’s attempt to get as far away as possible from the world’s platypuses
- John Wilkes Booth was raised by a family of platypuses
- JFK was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, but Lee Harvey Oswald’s best friend was a platypus
- The platypus is a blight upon modern society, poisoning our minds, kidnapping our children, and having violent congress with our women.
- The platypus is a crime against nature. It is a venomous, egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed demon, bent upon sowing discord and disrupting Man’s most perfect quietude.
- “Platypus” starts to sound weird if you type it enough times