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MARK MADNESS SWEET SIXTEEN RESULTS

MARK MADNESS SWEET SIXTEEN RESULTS

The results are in for Mark Madness’s Sweet Sixteen round! Make sure to vote in the Elite Eight round HERE! Mark Ruffalo (1) vs. Mark from work (4): Man, Mark from work, I’m really sorry, but . . . you’re done. No, not just from the tournament, from this office. What, you thought the stipulation that if … Continue reading

UA To Double Wharton Representation

UA To Double Wharton Representation

As UA elections come to a close, Punch Bowl’s legislative correspondent and guest columnist Tom Nowlan reports on some changes to the electoral process. In a long-anticipated move, Penn’s Undergraduate Assembly voted to double the number of representatives from the Wharton School, beginning in the 2015-16 legislative year. The body’s bylaws now dictate that, during … Continue reading

MARK MADNESS ROUND 1 RESULTS

MARK MADNESS ROUND 1 RESULTS

On Saturday night, the polls closed for the first round of MARK MADNESS. We had a total of 234 votes in this round, and this is what the people voted for: MARK RUFFALO (1) vs. Karl Marx (8): In what was a surprisingly contentious first round match-up, handsome and talented actor Mark Ruffalo barely defeated the proletariat … Continue reading

Mark Madness Round 1, Part 2 Preview

Mark Madness Round 1, Part 2 Preview

The Punch Bowl’s Mark Madness is in full swing! We’ve already had so many upsets, controversy and lots of high-quality television. Except for not really because we don’t know the results yet. Well, we have the raw data and numbers but it’s a very difficult process and we haven’t been able to get the “algorithms” “up and … Continue reading

DP’s Inorganic Seeding Outrages Vegan Society

DP’s Inorganic Seeding Outrages Vegan Society

PHILADELPHIA, PA – The Vegan Society was outraged this morning as they discovered how the Daily Pennsylvanian chose the seeding for its bracket challenge. According to some hard-hitting investigative journalism, the DP used a random generator for seeding. Vegan Society President Jonathan Sprout (yes, that is his real name; no I did not make that … Continue reading

A Cover Letter

A Cover Letter

It’s a tough job market out there, and even James Caleb Jackson, the 1863 inventor of the very first breakfast cereal “Granula,” is having a difficult time finding a summer internship. Though he’s an inventor by trade, he’s looking to try his hand at brand management. Below is his cover letter for an internship with General … Continue reading

#AskHerMore Oscar Questions

#AskHerMore Oscar Questions

During last night’s Oscars, there was a Twitter campaign to #AskHerMore on the red carpet to encourage reporters to ask women celebrities about things other than what they are wearing. As Punch Bowl’s resident feminist, I have come up with a list of questions I would ask women on the red carpet given the chance: … Continue reading

Can You Tell the Difference Between Quotes From the Daily Pennsylvanian and Tweets From Jaden Smith?

Can You Tell the Difference Between Quotes From the Daily Pennsylvanian and Tweets From Jaden Smith?

While the Pennsylvania Punch Bowl is primarily intended to be a devastatingly witty outlet for some of the greatest minds Penn has to offer, we also like to challenge our audience. To that end, we’ve dived into the philosophical musings of Jaden Smith’s Twitter account, and scoured the Daily Pennsylvanian’s online archives. Can you, dear reader, tell them apart? Answers for … Continue reading

Punchbowl’s Top Eight Grammy Moments 2015

Punchbowl’s Top Eight Grammy Moments 2015

This year’s Grammys was one to remember! Take a look back with The Punchbowl’s Top Eight Moments from the Grammys! 8. When Usher showed Stevie the finer points of fellatio but forgot that Stevie isn’t much of a visual learner. Other performers were not too enthusiastic about using Usher’s microphone during the remainder of the show. 7. … Continue reading