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	<title>The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl</title>
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	<description>(C) 2012 The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl</description>
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		<title>The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net</link>
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		<title>NEW ISSUE! Online Now!</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/05/06/new-issue-online-now/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/05/06/new-issue-online-now/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 May 2013 16:19:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Punchy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Punchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[history]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[new issue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[through the ages]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8375</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Check out the Spring 2013 Issue of The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl! Read &#8220;Punch Bowl: Through the Ages&#8221; HERE! Filed under: Articles, by Punchy, News<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8375&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Sex, Lies, and Jokes About Wawa: Some Final Thoughts on Punch Bowl</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/05/06/sex-lies-and-jokes-about-wawa-some-final-thoughts-on-punch-bowl/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/05/06/sex-lies-and-jokes-about-wawa-some-final-thoughts-on-punch-bowl/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 May 2013 15:36:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rajgopal391</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Raj Gopal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8363</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[And so, this is it.  I told myself I wouldn’t cry, but now here I am, weeping all over this bowl of freshly-chopped onions like a dramatic baby.  Why am I tearing up?  Because this is the final thing I will produce for this organization, assuming those Punch Bowl-brand assless chaps never come to fruition. &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/05/06/sex-lies-and-jokes-about-wawa-some-final-thoughts-on-punch-bowl/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8363&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>NEW PENN PRE-ORIENTATION PROGRAMS ANNOUNCED FOR 2013!</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/29/new-penn-pre-orientation-programs-announced-for-2013/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/29/new-penn-pre-orientation-programs-announced-for-2013/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:28:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Punchy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Julia Hurley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2013]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[orientation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Penn]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8357</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In the upcoming fall, Penn will be doing away with the traditional series of pre-orientation programs to embrace the changing needs of its incoming students. The Punch Bowl is pleased to announce this radical new set of pre-orientation programs that will be offered to the incoming freshman class this August. Penntacle Penntacle welcomes incoming freshmen &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/29/new-penn-pre-orientation-programs-announced-for-2013/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8357&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>DO, BUT MAKE SURE: Guidelines For Scoutmasters To Conduct An Instructive, Inclusive and Homosexual-Free-And-Tolerant Camping Trip Without Any Of That Gay Shit</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/28/do-but-make-sure-guidelines-for-scoutmasters-do-but-make-sure-guidelines-for-scoutmasters-to-conduct-a-safe-and-instructive-camping-trip-without-any-of-that-gay-shit/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/28/do-but-make-sure-guidelines-for-scoutmasters-do-but-make-sure-guidelines-for-scoutmasters-to-conduct-a-safe-and-instructive-camping-trip-without-any-of-that-gay-shit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 28 Apr 2013 19:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Punchy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[by Evan Spiller]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8303</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The governing board of the Boy Scouts of America on Friday recommended ending the organization’s ban on openly gay Scouts but keeping its prohibition on gay troop leaders. April 19, 2013 The Washington Post From the &#8220;Do, But Make Sure&#8221; camping section of the BSA&#8217;s newest instruction manual for scoutmasters: DO: Actively point out and &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/28/do-but-make-sure-guidelines-for-scoutmasters-do-but-make-sure-guidelines-for-scoutmasters-to-conduct-a-safe-and-instructive-camping-trip-without-any-of-that-gay-shit/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8303&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">pennpunch</media:title>
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		<title>Top Ten Ways to Stop Procrastinating</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/20/top-ten-ways-to-stop-procrastinating/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/20/top-ten-ways-to-stop-procrastinating/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:51:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>kmsimon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Kira Simon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop procrastination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[top ten]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8293</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Top Ten Ways to Stop Procrastinating&#8230; and write that goddamn essay Look at pictures of ugly animals Call your parents Attempt to clean your room Start writing a cover letter Make an effort to find a night that at least eight Penn students are free for dinner Strive to figure out what’s wrong with your &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/20/top-ten-ways-to-stop-procrastinating/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8293&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">procrastination2</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">kmsimon</media:title>
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		<title>BREAKING NEWS: Obama Surprises the Nation with the Announcement of his Impending Sex Change</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/15/breaking-news-obama-surprises-the-nation-with-the-announcement-of-his-impending-sex-change/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/15/breaking-news-obama-surprises-the-nation-with-the-announcement-of-his-impending-sex-change/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 23:31:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Punchy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Julia Hurley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clinton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8287</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WASHINGTON, DC &#8211; Washington, DC’s preternatural calm was disturbed Sunday night upon President Obama’s announcement of his impending sex change. The President broke the news to the nation on live television in a speech delivered from the White House. “Look guys, I’m not going to let my position as the most powerful man in the &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/15/breaking-news-obama-surprises-the-nation-with-the-announcement-of-his-impending-sex-change/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8287&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">obama1</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">pennpunch</media:title>
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		<title>Meditations of A Bitter Student Walking Down Locust in the Spring</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/13/meditations-of-a-bitter-student-walking-down-locust-in-the-spring/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/13/meditations-of-a-bitter-student-walking-down-locust-in-the-spring/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2013 15:55:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Punchy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[by Nikhil Menezes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leaves]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shade]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vibrate]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8278</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I can hear the sound waves stretching out already, some repetition of a recycled electronic rhythm rolling across campus over and over again. Some crowds of guys, walking around with the pretense of purpose, but their eyes betray their lack of destination. And several girls, strutting down the tarmac in tank tops, now smiling because &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/13/meditations-of-a-bitter-student-walking-down-locust-in-the-spring/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8278&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">PENN_005</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">pennpunch</media:title>
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		<title>50 Songs Titles That Sound Like Lame Superhero Names</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/09/50-songs-titles-that-sound-like-lame-superhero-names/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/09/50-songs-titles-that-sound-like-lame-superhero-names/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:38:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sam Pasternack</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Sam Pasternack]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[50 songs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lame superheroes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[playlist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[superheroes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8273</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160; Ramblin’ Man – The Allman Brothers Band Broken Hearted Girl – Beyonce Dizzy Miss Lizzie – The Beatles Sexy Bitch – David Guetta Lonely Boy – The Black Keys Minnie the Moocher – Cab Calloway Rock Lobster – The B-52’s American Baby – DMB Aubrey &#8211; Bread Taxman – The Beatles Foxy Lady &#8211; &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/09/50-songs-titles-that-sound-like-lame-superhero-names/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8273&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">spasternack</media:title>
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		<title>BREAKING NEWS: Penn’s Weather Machine Discovered</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/08/breaking-news-penns-weather-machine-discovered/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/08/breaking-news-penns-weather-machine-discovered/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:32:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Punchy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Admissions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Penn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weather]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepunchbowl.net/?p=8267</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Check out this groundbreaking news story from Punch Bowl guest columnist, Andres Gonzalez! PHILADELPHIA, PA – Investigators have found a “Weather Manipulation Machine” underneath the University of Pennsylvania’s College Hall. The recent change in temperature can be attributed to the Admissions Office, who has been manipulating the weather to attract prospective students. “Listen, we know &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/08/breaking-news-penns-weather-machine-discovered/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8267&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>How History Is Really Determined</title>
		<link>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/06/how-history-is-really-determined/</link>
		<comments>http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/06/how-history-is-really-determined/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Apr 2013 07:28:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>kmsimon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by Kira Simon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bloody mary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[M.A.S.H.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mary I]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mary queen of england]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oliver cromwell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[philip I]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[queen of england]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[M.A.S.H. (Mansion/Apartment/Shack/House) Mary I of England (Bloody Mary) Husband Honeymoon Job Salary Ivan “the Terrible” IV France Supermodel Nothing, you are a woman! The cute stable boy Swampland Mass murderer Nothing, you are a woman! Philip of Spain Antarctica Queen of England Nothing, you are a woman! Oliver Cromwell Scotland Queen of Spain Nothing, you &#8230; <span class="more-link"><a href="http://thepunchbowl.net/2013/04/06/how-history-is-really-determined/">Continue reading &#187;</a></span><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thepunchbowl.net&#038;blog=38127882&#038;post=8257&#038;subd=pennpunch&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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