With a new school year upon us it seems like all of us here at Penn are looking to revamp our wardrobes to be trendy, stylish, and totally the scene. But, with all of these fashion tips crowding the internet, it’s hard to keep up. Real hard. Are those jeans too skinny? Do stripes and … Continue reading
I definitely shouldn’t have gone out last night, I am SWAMPED with writing seminar. It’s ok, I’ll just get to Fisher Fine Arts and read all day. It’s not thaaat much and I think I’ll be able to catch up. I just wish my head didn’t hurt this bad. What did I do to myself … Continue reading
They say he read Case In Point before he could walk. That Victor Cheng emails him for advice. That he once solved a case without even using a framework. He is the suited crusader who aids anyone in the quest to improve client performance. He is Consulting Man. It was a warm evening and the rain … Continue reading
Click HERE to read The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl‘s NSO Issue!
1: What would you do if hundreds of rockets were being launched at you? 2: Um . . . at me? Well, uh, run probably. 1: No, not you, you idiot. I meant you, like, you’re a country. 2: That’s a weird question . . . uh, well do I have rockets of my own? … Continue reading
This column is brought to you by music correspondent and Rick James enthusiast, Miguel Davila. Rick James is one of the most prolific cocaine users of all time. This much we know, thanks to Charlie Murphy. He went harder than all but a few ever have. It’s unfortunate, though, that he is only known to … Continue reading
Super Sabbatical Summer Tenured and soon to be retired Professor Goldstein of the Physics Department decided to spend the summer traveling the world. He backpacked through Europe, climbed Mt. Everest, and zip-lined through caves. Dr. Goldstein reflected on his experience, stating “it feels so good to be out of the lab and away from those … Continue reading
The David Pottruck Health and Fitness Center will be offering a new residential program for the Fall 2014 semester. The Dwellings for Youthful Exercise and Lifting (DYEL) program is currently taking applications for freshmen and upperclassmen to live and lift inside Pottruck Gym. The program is said to focus on weightlifting, strength conditioning, and making … Continue reading
Click HERE to read The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl’s Spring Issue, THE FOOD ISSUE!
Sophomore guest columnist Sam Anthony reports on the latest progression in the world of pre-natal pageantry. The moment you are born, as the saying goes, you begin to die. Few are more aware of that sad fact than those who make their living hosting childrens’ beauty pageants. Increasingly, these professional pageant hosts from all around … Continue reading
As the semester winds down, freshman guest columnist Camille Jwo reflects back on Riepe Cookie Nights. Riepe House Dean and Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences Dean DeTurck recently revealed that he has been using cookie night to study the effects of an experimental new drug on aggressive behavior in Riepe residents. DeTurck … Continue reading
Sources have confirmed that a slew of robberies throughout the Quad have been traced back to a single squirrel who gained entry through an opened window on the Fisher-Hassenfeld third floor. Upon entering the Quad, the malefactor ravaged a bowl of Hershey Kisses and Starbursts, leaving a trail of candy wrappers and fecal matter throughout his … Continue reading
Between doing hard work preparing for finals in the library, going out on the town with my friends, and weeping inconsolably in Frontera while listening to Leona Lewis, I have not had the time to sit down for two hours and enjoy a high-quality film. I imagine you have had this struggle as well, avid … Continue reading
Check out Punch Bowl’s Spring-ish 2014 mini-issue, online now! Click HERE to read The Travel Issue.
PHILADELPHIA, PA – It turns out that the police are just like Penn students; eager to get turnt as fuck this weekend. Memos exchanged between the Penn Police Department and the Philadelphia Police Department have revealed that the undercover officers patrolling Fling this weekend are actually being rewarded for a years’ worth of hard service. … Continue reading
Starting next week, all food trucks on Penn’s campus will become BYOs. While typical BYOs occur in large, spacious restaurants, students will now be able to bring their own into any food truck they desire. This new initiative is being spearheaded by PAFT, the Penn Association of Food Trucks. “I think this is a great … Continue reading
As Spring Fling approaches, many student groups have began to speak out against this year’s fling performers. Penn Social Planning and Events Committee (SPEC) found itself in a similar position last Spring Fling when students protested the choice of Tyga. While students were solely opposed to the misogynistic lyrics of Tyga last year, they have … Continue reading
8 went in, 4 came out. Here is how the Elite 8 went down: None of Archimedes’ accomplishments could prevent him from taking arrows to the knee. Or to the heart. Or to the brain. Okay, it was pretty brutal. Archery has moved on to the Final Four. Joan of Arc proves that she still … Continue reading
Obviously we all know and love “The Reason.” It’s a ballad for the ages and will surely stand the test of time in the realm of sad, but determined anthems of love. I play it almost constantly. At the gym, while doing laundry, as I fall asleep, and both in and out of class, especially … Continue reading
Yesterday our voters narrowed 16 arches down to eight… here are the results: Science prevailed and Archimedes narrowly defeated the Archbishop of Rome. As predicted, archery surpassed the Galapagos Archipelago (the discovery of evolution is awesome, but… bows and arrows) In a surprise upset, Joan of Arc beat out Ted Mosby, architect. It is a … Continue reading