Rare Book and Manuscript Collections Stolen from Van Pelt-Dietrich Library

Rare Book and Manuscript Collections Stolen from Van Pelt-Dietrich Library

Over the past few weeks hundreds of objects have been reported as missing from Van Pelt-Dietrich Library. At first, the missing items were confused with overdue library books and DVD rentals but, after further investigation, it is clear that the criminal activity runs much deeper than anticipated. One preliminary explanation traced the thefts to the … Continue reading

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The Naturalist’s Guide to Penn’s Campus

The Naturalist’s Guide to Penn’s Campus

Stretching from the industrialized banks of the Schuylkill to the rolling hills west of 42nd, Penn’s campus serves as a little oasis in the midst of a bustling metropolitan city. Home to a wide array of flora and fauna, researchers and nature zealots alike have flocked here for centuries to marvel at the stunning array of biodiversity … Continue reading

The Truth Behind Rankings

The Truth Behind Rankings

Today’s guest column comes to us from sophomore, and satanism expert, Luke Hoban, here to shed some light on Penn’s recent rankings. In a completely coincidental, not at all suspicious string of good fortune, Penn has recently garnered a ton of media awards. These rankings seemed a bit suspicious when they were announced, so the … Continue reading

The Latest in Technology: the Apple Apple

The Latest in Technology: the Apple Apple

Resident Punch Bowl technology expert Max Levy tells us all about Apple’s newest venture in today’s guest column. SILICON VALLEY – Amazed by the critical acclaim facing the Apple Watch, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced his company’s newest product today: the Apple Apple. “We wanted to take the elegance of our brand,” Cook said in … Continue reading

How to Have the Interview of Your Life

How to Have the Interview of Your Life

Today, our guest writer Katie Sgarro takes her experiences doing OCR and rolls them up in a nice column-sized package for you all to learn from. Attention all Penn students: Contrary to popular belief, The Punch Bowl is interested in your professional success! With this in mind, we present you with a play-by-play of the … Continue reading

Sociological Study of a SWUG

Sociological Study of a SWUG

The SWUG, or Senior Washed Up Girl, is an oft-discussed, seldom-spotted creature, native to her bedroom and Starbucks. She prefers wearing a robe, or no pants at all, to jeans, and can frequently be heard saying, “I just want to drink wine at home tonight.” This is a sociological study of a SWUG at the … Continue reading

Things Unintentionally Learned During NSO

Things Unintentionally Learned During NSO

At our weekly ritual gathering this past week, the newest batch of young Punch Bowlers told the rest of us what they unintentionally learned during NSO… Outdoor couches are excellent places to pass out Pants = towel Don’t talk to the person in the stall next to you… especially in the gender neutral restroom All … Continue reading

Fall Fashion Tips – Pit Stains

Fall Fashion Tips – Pit Stains

With a new school year upon us it seems like all of us here at Penn are looking to revamp our wardrobes to be trendy, stylish, and totally the scene. But, with all of these fashion tips crowding the internet, it’s hard to keep up. Real hard. Are those jeans too skinny? Do stripes and … Continue reading

Rick James: Behind the Cocaine

Rick James: Behind the Cocaine

This column is brought to you by music correspondent and Rick James enthusiast, Miguel Davila. Rick James is one of the most prolific cocaine users of all time. This much we know, thanks to Charlie Murphy. He went harder than all but a few ever have. It’s unfortunate, though, that he is only known to … Continue reading

Honest Penn News Today

Honest Penn News Today

Super Sabbatical Summer Tenured and soon to be retired Professor Goldstein of the Physics Department decided to spend the summer traveling the world. He backpacked through Europe, climbed Mt. Everest, and zip-lined through caves. Dr. Goldstein reflected on his experience, stating “it feels so good to be out of the lab and away from those … Continue reading

Pottruck Gym to Offer Residential Program

Pottruck Gym to Offer Residential Program

The David Pottruck Health and Fitness Center will be offering a new residential program for the Fall 2014 semester. The Dwellings for Youthful Exercise and Lifting (DYEL) program is currently taking applications for freshmen and upperclassmen to live and lift inside Pottruck Gym. The program is said to focus on weightlifting, strength conditioning, and making … Continue reading