Mark Madness Round 1, Part 2 Preview

Mark Madness Round 1, Part 2 Preview

The Punch Bowl’s Mark Madness is in full swing! We’ve already had so many upsets, controversy and lots of high-quality television. Except for not really because we don’t know the results yet. Well, we have the raw data and numbers but it’s a very difficult process and we haven’t been able to get the “algorithms” “up and … Continue reading

DP’s Inorganic Seeding Outrages Vegan Society

DP’s Inorganic Seeding Outrages Vegan Society

PHILADELPHIA, PA – The Vegan Society was outraged this morning as they discovered how the Daily Pennsylvanian chose the seeding for its bracket challenge. According to some hard-hitting investigative journalism, the DP used a random generator for seeding. Vegan Society President Jonathan Sprout (yes, that is his real name; no I did not make that … Continue reading

A Cover Letter

A Cover Letter

It’s a tough job market out there, and even James Caleb Jackson, the 1863 inventor of the very first breakfast cereal “Granula,” is having a difficult time finding a summer internship. Though he’s an inventor by trade, he’s looking to try his hand at brand management. Below is his cover letter for an internship with General … Continue reading

#AskHerMore Oscar Questions

#AskHerMore Oscar Questions

During last night’s Oscars, there was a Twitter campaign to #AskHerMore on the red carpet to encourage reporters to ask women celebrities about things other than what they are wearing. As Punch Bowl’s resident feminist, I have come up with a list of questions I would ask women on the red carpet given the chance: … Continue reading

Can You Tell the Difference Between Quotes From the Daily Pennsylvanian and Tweets From Jaden Smith?

Can You Tell the Difference Between Quotes From the Daily Pennsylvanian and Tweets From Jaden Smith?

While the Pennsylvania Punch Bowl is primarily intended to be a devastatingly witty outlet for some of the greatest minds Penn has to offer, we also like to challenge our audience. To that end, we’ve dived into the philosophical musings of Jaden Smith’s Twitter account, and scoured the Daily Pennsylvanian’s online archives. Can you, dear reader, tell them apart? Answers for … Continue reading

Punchbowl’s Top Eight Grammy Moments 2015

Punchbowl’s Top Eight Grammy Moments 2015

This year’s Grammys was one to remember! Take a look back with The Punchbowl’s Top Eight Moments from the Grammys! 8. When Usher showed Stevie the finer points of fellatio but forgot that Stevie isn’t much of a visual learner. Other performers were not too enthusiastic about using Usher’s microphone during the remainder of the show. 7. … Continue reading

Snapchat “Discover” Update Includes Live NSA Feed

Snapchat “Discover” Update Includes Live NSA Feed

The recently released Snapchat “Discover” update has been welcomed with extraordinary praise. *Credible* news sources have said that this “will change news consumption indefinitely.” The update includes a grid of features that show snapchat-esque clips and stories from sources including CNN, Comedy Central, and National Geographic, but users are most interested in the feature that provides … Continue reading

Super (Punch) Bowl Mailbag

Super (Punch) Bowl Mailbag

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl, in case you hadn’t heard. I asked for your questions and now I am going to answer them, in the first ever Super (Punch) Bowl Mailbag Extravaganza. If your question wasn’t answered, don’t take it personally. It just means that it was a bad question and/or you are a bad person and/or … Continue reading