Featured
Tim Kaine Scores 3 on AP Spanish Language Exam

Tim Kaine Scores 3 on AP Spanish Language Exam

Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate Tim Kaine has recently come under scrutiny for his Spanish language skills.  While Kaine memorably began his first public speech as the Vice Presidential nominee with a call for unity in Spanish—having picked up the language while working with missionaries in Honduras—according to the College Board, Kaine may be lacking. A … Continue reading →

Gary Johnson Books Family Vacation to Aleppo

Gary Johnson Books Family Vacation to Aleppo

In recent days, Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson has been slammed for an embarrassing moment in an interview where he had no clue what the Syrian city of Aleppo was. Determined not to repeat his embarrassment over a lack of knowledge about Aleppo, he has spent the last few days reading up on the Syrian … Continue reading →

6 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

6 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

We learn many hard lessons over the course of our lives. Like my father always said, “I have more regrets than Skip Bayless has romantic feelings for Tom Brady”. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and teach my younger self some lessons. Here are the top 6 things that I would tell … Continue reading →

DIY Fling Tank

DIY Fling Tank

Freshman Ezra Brooks might not have a any Spring Flings under his belt yet, but he can help you figure out which tank you should wear… above the belt? Whether you want to craft the dopest motherflinging cashmere tank top knitted from the finest threads, or a 120-ton steel tank, the Punch Bowl has you covered. … Continue reading →

Dissatisfaction with Midterm Grades Paralyzes Introductory Political Science Class

Dissatisfaction with Midterm Grades Paralyzes Introductory Political Science Class

A group of dissatisfied freshmen in an unnamed introductory political science course have mutinied, rendering the class’ administration impossible, effectively stalling the class mid-semester.  After receiving grades on their midterm paper assignments, a large contingency of freshmen swarmed their professor at the end of class asking for clarification regarding their grades.  The professor, visiting from … Continue reading →

Penn Researchers With Breakthrough Meth-Related Discovery

Penn Researchers With Breakthrough Meth-Related Discovery

Sophomore columnist Claudia Hogan with the latest in psychotherapeutic drug technology.  New breakthroughs at the American Society of Neuroscience promise the ability to sync your mood swings with your friends. This pharmaceutical has huge implications in the field of psychopathology. A few chemical changes might allow this drug to be applied to other disorders such as unipolar … Continue reading →

Notes on a Punch Bowl

Notes on a Punch Bowl

If you’ve ever wondered what kind of sick nonsense runs through the minds of your friendly neighborhood Punch Bowl-ers on a daily basis, consider this your opportunity to experience the human condition through the eyes of college students with waaaaay too much free time comedy visionaries. Read on for the, sometimes highly questionable, things we … Continue reading →

An Honest Guide to Tinder

An Honest Guide to Tinder

Still trying to find love on Tinder? Never fear, Punch Bowl’s simple guide to tinder success is here, and we’re ready to help you match with people on campus who you end up deciding you don’t really want to talk to anymore, have a strange relationship with, or don’t find that attractive after all, but … Continue reading →