


5 Stages of Coming to Terms with Your Spotify Wrapped

2021 President’s Engagement Prize Winner: Reading Marxism to Steel workers in Pennsylvania

Wharton Student Reports Unidentified “Ghostly” Forces Impressively Completed His MGMT 230 Team Project

Thanksgiving Haikus- 2020

Stress Foods: RANKED

Ranking College Houses (Based on Their Ability to Get You Laid, Pre-COVID)

OP-ED: Penn is becoming a haven for dirty socialists

PENN Edition: 10 Puns to annoy your relatives with

Note Regarding Upcoming Holiday Travel From Penn

Rating Creative Voter Suppression Tactics

BREAKING: Dominatrix Is Controlling Election Coverage

A photo essay of the election, as told through MSNBC correspondent Steve Kornacki

EXPOSED: Elect-ile Dysfunction Spread by Old Men

Tiffany Trump To Remove All T’s from Her Name

Penn Dining To Unveil a New Fall Spice

Judge Barrett responds to every question with lyrics from “Losing My Religion”- answers actually make more sense

DP Reporter fails to mention that Trump was a Wharton graduate, promptly fired

Late Night Musings of a Professor

This Lecture is Taking Forever: A Villanelle

Best Couples Costumes for Halloween 2020!

I Tried Trump’s COVID Cocktail So You Don’t Have To

Exclusive Interview with Jefferson Davis

NEW CLUB ON CAMPUS: We write Rupi Kaur poetry about Penn

13 Puns for these Cursed Times

Op-Ed: Why Penn Students Don’t Need Breaks

Fall DIYs With Little to No Purchases!

Professor Shocks Students with New Tattoo

The Art of Seduction: Zoom Edition

5 Reasons Why Llamas are the Key to Reopening Penn

Locust Hate-Preacher Devastated Classes are Online

Wharton Students Feeling Right at Home with Virtual Recruiting

Guys, I’m Moving to Venus!

Why Online Classes are Just NOT IT

STORYTIME: Pete Buttigieg Haunted My Drive to Campus

Heartbreaking: Girl Staying Home for Fall Semester Thinks her Friendships will Survive the Distance

Fall 2020: A Shakespearean Tragedy

OP-ED: Abroad Did Not Change Me Enough

Top 5 Tips for Zoom Etiquette

What Did You Do This Summer?

Best 5 Minute Life Hack EVER

The “Tragedy” of Toad

Penn Partners with Ancestry.com for Mail-In COVID Tests

Quarantine Edition: Things to Roll on 4/20

“Yeah, I’ve Totally Been Prepping for Social Distancing my Whole Life!” Says Attention-Seeking Extrovert

Op-Ed: How I Got MERTed During Bio Lab

UPenn Announces New “Punch Bowl Only” Wing in Van Pelt Library

New Report Predicts Transportation Trends Coming To Campus

Op-Ed: I Sexually Identify as an “Atlantic Salmon”
