Happy Belated Birthday, Jesus!
Ouch! Girl Who Online-Shopped Through Every Lecture Still Did Better Than You on Final
New Phrase “Shut your Cock-Holster” taking University by Storm
Creators of Penn Course Review Launch New Website
Pillsbury Doughboy Erotic Fanfiction
I do not know what a pear is.
Moleskine Planners: The Key to a Good PennFace
How to: Get “Free” Food From Tables on Locust Without Any Catches
Penn Students’ Favorite Things About The Rain
Break Amnesia: Medical Condition Leaves Student With No Recollection of Pre-Thanksgiving Life
Massive Book-Smuggling Ring Busted by Van Pelt Bag Check
Freshman Girl is “Besties” with Her Gyno
Thanksgiving Haiku Poems – 2018
Ben Shapiro Outed as a Typewriter
Daily Mail Let America Down
Office of Admissions Unveils New Policy for Prospective Students
New Course Crosslisted in Linguistics and Gender Studies: Cunnilinguistics
Personalized Penn Pep-Talks Presented by Punch-Bowl
How the Women Against Abuse Club Discriminates Against Men
Are Men Discriminated Against?
A Poem to THAT GUY Who Takes the Elevator Down From the 1st Floor
Wharton Gets Their Own CAPS Clinician, So?????
Trump Therapy Change.org Petition Obtains Record Number of Signatures
Voting is not for Everyone: Why Some of us Should NOT Vote Tomorrow
Trump to Permit Quartering of ICE Agents, Defying Third Amendment
REPORT: Everyone Here is Named Ben
Potential Roommates for Desperate Renters
BREAKING: New College House Dedicated to Kanye, Now Called “College House West”
5 Reasons Why Gritty is Your Marxist Pixie Dream Ghoul
RA in Dilapidated Quad Hall Spends $0.00 on Haunted House Event
Calvin Klein Releases New Scent in Canada to Celebrate Legal Marijuana
You won’t BELIEVE what happened when THIS GUY brought out THIS thing in the MIDDLE of campus!
Does Venmo hate Barry Manilow?
How to Discuss Something You Didn’t Read
Dear Professor, Sorry I’m Missing Lecture
New College House West Funded by Students Too Lazy to Look for Off-Campus Housing
Student Plays Budget “Escape the Room,” Purposely Gets Lost at Fro-Gro
Thriving @ Penn presents “How to Pennface”
Girl Who Just Signed Her Text “Best, Genevieve” is Actually the Worst
ALERT: NEWS IS HAPPENING
How to Boat
Crossword for Crossing Campus
Ten Things I Learned in Office Hours
OP-ED: Why Riding a Scooter to Campus Makes Me An Oppressed Minority
Sophomore Pre-med Has SOLVED Disease Diagnosis
Frat Parties Increasingly Difficult to Enter, Acceptance Rates as Low as 2%
Bananas Banned from Campus Because They Kind of Look like Guns
10 Things Safer than the High Rise Elevators
