The Pennsylvania Punch Bowl

Penn Satire, Since 1899

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Featured Punchy

Op-Ed: I Identify As A Cool Ranch Dorito

Featured Punchy

New Finals Season Study Strategy: Compartmentalization

Featured Punchy

Thanksgiving Haikus 2019

Featured Punchy

Disgruntled Student Sues Penn

Featured Punchy

“Mask and Wig” Club Founded for Students Interested in Costume Design

Featured Punchy

The Nerd’s Guide to Watching Sports

Featured Punchy

Yikes! All of Woman’s Dance Moves Clearly Learned in Zumba Class

Featured Punchy

Everything You Need to Know About No Nut November

Featured Punchy

Penn Issues New Policy: Failing to Preregister Means You Must Drop Out

Featured Punchy

Don’t Send Nudes; Send Podcast Recommendations

Featured Punchy

Penn Issues New Red and Navy Blue Dress Code: Estimated to Affect Around 0 Students

Featured Punchy

The UPenn 2019 Halloween Guide…..CRAP We Missed Our Deadline

Featured Punchy

Embarrassment for USA: ISIS Leader Killed Was Actually Head of Egyptian Goddess’ Fan Club

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Spooky One Liners to get you a Boo

Featured Punchy

So it’s Basically Christmas (10/29)

Featured Punchy

MY Overnight Economic Miracle

Featured Punchy

Ben Franklin Rises- A Halloween Tale

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Worldwide Outbreak of “Shitty Week”

Featured Punchy

A Beginner’s Guide to Breathing

Featured Punchy

Tragic! Girl Thinks, “Let’s Get Lunch” is Actual Invitation

Featured Punchy

Halloween Cancelled Due to Literally Every Costume Being Offensive

Featured Punchy

Pumpkin Spice Flavoring is Among the Top Contributors to Global Climate Change

Featured Punchy

What To Do When Your Emotional Support Animal Application Is Revoked

Featured Punchy

Breaking: Girl Completes Marathon in 1:58

Featured Punchy

Wow! Another Ethan Doesn’t Respect Women!

Featured Punchy

Local Comedic Writer Out of Ideas

Featured Punchy

Breaking: XXL Sea-Green Penn Sweatshirt Located in Lost & Found

Featured Punchy

Electronic Scooters Implicated in Mysterious Lung Disease

Featured Punchy

I Want Filas So I Can Go “Stomp Stomp Stomp”

Featured Punchy

Why Feet Are Actually The WOAT

Featured Punchy

TOP 5 VAN PELT BAG CHECK BUSTS OF ALL TIME

Featured Punchy

Find Out What Coffee Matches Your Major/Pre-Professional Aura

Featured Punchy

The ACTUAL Truth about the Compass

Featured Punchy

WWII Technology Enthusiast Disappointed by “Tankie” Convention

Featured Punchy

Girl with “Good Vibes Only” Sticker Emitting Terrible Vibes

Featured Punchy

Breaking: Students too Busy to Notice Giant, Disembodied Head in Van Pelt Basement

Featured Punchy

BEST TV SHOWS & MOVIES TO WATCH IN CLASS AND PROBABLY LEARN THE SAME AMOUNT

Featured Punchy

Breaking: A Girl Is Tired

Featured Punchy

What to Do When You’re Watching a Show With Your Parents and There’s a Sex Scene

Featured Punchy

FIVE of the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS for Penn Newbies—ANSWERED

Featured Punchy

MADLIBS: Back when I was a freshman…

Featured Punchy

Freshman Achieves Enlightenment in First Philosophy Class

Featured Punchy

Chaos at OCR as Wharton is Ghosted by Every Company

Featured Punchy

Weird Sophomore Goes Two Weeks without Mocking Freshmen

Featured Punchy

Hurricane Categories as told by a Native Floridian

Featured Punchy

How to Maintain Self-Esteem When You AREN’T Cat Called

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Wharton to Begin Offering “Skills for Avoiding Homeless People on the Street” Class in Fall 2020

Featured Punchy

“NCH Is Like in the Middle of Nowhere” Says English Major with Four Fisher-Bennett Classes

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Would Anyone Be Interested In Subletting This Cardboard Box I Found Outside FroGro

Featured Punchy

Jobs for Jobless Seniors

November 21, 2019 Punchy

How to eat ALL the food this Thanksgiving: Tips and Tricks

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Older posts

Top Posts

  • Op-Ed: I Identify As A Cool Ranch Dorito
  • What You Can Do When You're Eighteen
  • New Finals Season Study Strategy: Compartmentalization
  • Ted Bundy admitted to frat because he "slays bitches"
  • 7 Easy Tips for Starting a Violent Revolution

Tweets

  • "The year is 2083. Gender no longer exists. We all identify as different flavors of Doritos. I am cool ranch and th… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 9 hours ago
  • Check out Punch Bowl's annual Thanksgiving haikus! Click on the link below to read the rest: thepunchbowl.net/2019/11/26/tha… 2 weeks ago
  • Breaking News: A disgruntled STEM student is suing Penn because multiple professors have assigned homework to be co… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 weeks ago
  • Want to literally eat an entire Cornucopia's worth of food this Thanksgiving? Try this! thepunchbowl.net/2019/11/21/how… thepunchbowl.net/2019/11/21/how… 3 weeks ago
  • Mask and Wig Club? Never heard of it. thepunchbowl.net/2019/11/19/mas… thepunchbowl.net/2019/11/19/mas… 3 weeks ago
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