by Andrew Piskai
For today’s column, Andrew Piskai has a few words to say about Advance Registration:
Ahh second semester course selection time. You can smell it in the air. The leaves begin to change, and that first itty-bitty hint of cold lingers stagnant in the November air. It makes you happy to be alive. However grand this time of year may be on the surface, many studious Penn students, following the example set forth by the Lion King, take this opportunity to panic as they choose what courses to take, a decision that will ultimately determine their place in the circle of life.
But, worry not my bundled Ivy urchins. Punchbowl is here to save the day. (Again). (It’s how we do).
Based on your school, we have tailored the following suggestions (like the Versace jackets many of you wear in this colder weather) based on the crucial skills we’ve found in every successful Penn grad. Take these courses to find a plethora of insight, a cornucopia of life skills, and some other cool vocabulary words meaning “a lot.”
College
XBOX-360: Cheat-codes for Modern Society (fulfills ethics requirement)
WTF-101: Intro to Confusion
POT-420: Contraband Law and General Legal Studies
FNAR-260: Ceramics-Handbuilding (looks good on resumé with a history degree)
Wharton
MKTG-701: History of Soul Sales and Transactions
BS-550: Advanced Bullshitting (graduation requirement)
BBB-410: Biological Basis for your Blackberry (minors/majors also available in this)
EGO-440 (cross-listed with MGMT-100): Intro to Swindling
Engineering
BNRY-101010101010101001110: Intro to Computer Science
FEML-101: Introduction to Women (optional class)
PHYS-6000: Super-Ultra-Advanced-Nano-Biomolecular-Quantum Physics (Honors level)
WOW-233: World of Warcraft Writing Seminar
NERD-599 (cross-listed with MATH-550): Calculus XII
Nursing
HSKT-101-001: Intro to Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes
BP-120/80 (cross-listed with STAT-276): Vital Statistics
SCRB-430: Hospital Fashion
SARS-911: History of Biological Warfare