From the [deep] Archives

     It’s Tuesday, and here at the ‘Bowl, that means we bring you some shameful piece from our own shameful past. This week, we’re going back, way back… to 1996.


CONVERSATION STARTERS… for socially inept freshmenby Mark Davis, Fall 1996

       Promote Racial Understanding:
       “Are your parents black also?”

       Talk about philosophy:
       “So, do you exist?”

       Invite them out to eat, your treat:
       “Let’s go out to eat, your treat!”

       Ask about their home:
       “And what part of Long Island are you from?”

       Follow up the question:
       “Do you know Steve Goldberg?”

       Try again:
       “How about Ronnie Goldberg? Allen Goldberg?”

       Complement their intelligence:
       “Are your parents alums, or what?”

       Casually ask for directions:
       “Excuse me, can you show me how to unzip those pants you’re
      wearing?”

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