A Very Penn Thanksgiving

by Kevin Kimura

Horay! It’s Thanksgiving! Time to celebrate the bounty of our God. Unless you’re a Spaniard, in which case, it’s the anniversary of the coronation of Juan Carlos I. Or unless you’re Native American, in which case you’re probably bemoaning the constant griping about how you’re supposed to hate Thanksgiving.

But it’s good that we have Thanksgiving to remind us to be thankful. I asked important figures around Penn to send in their lists of what they’re thankful for. Here’s what they sent in:

Professor Scott Ward
moral relativism
meghan’s law probably up for review soon
moderate sentencing guidelines

Professor Rafael Rob
crowbars
presumption of innocence
(remaining) family

President Amy Gutmann
swimming pool filled with alumni donations converted to pennies
Mr. Amy Gutmann…awwww
“number of tenured felons” not counted in US News Rankings

Professor Gwen Eudey
falling prime rate…about time, Benny
pushing 40 and still got it!
pumpkin pie

Dean Lee Stetson
chloroform
lime
discretion

Coach Glenn Miller
hitting free throws
finally “in the mood”
Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special


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