A Future History Exam

One of the most exciting archaeological finds in recent memory has just been unearthed. At the side of a highway entering Maldonado, Uruguay, two children discovered an unnamed, deceased individual. After weeks of trying to relocate the body culminating in a heated confrontation with a teenage Kiefer Sutherland, archaeologists recovered the body. The deceased, an adolescent caucasian male with dreadlocks and what looks to be a Zune, carried with him a backpack that portrayed Willow Smith squashing a Smurf village in a design on the back. After sifting through his belongings and Carbon Dating his remains, researchers concluded yesterday that his name is Fabrice Jacobs, a student from the year 2097 who somehow arrived in our time. And here, for the first time, we are proud to publish a document owned by Mr. Jacobs, a history exam that may give us a look toward what the future might bring aside from another 84 seasons of The Basketball Wives, a fact discovered 3 years ago when the body of Antoine Walker XXVI was found. Unfortunately, most archaeological researchers have awful photographic technology, so here’s their crappy cell-phone picture of the document:


If any of you plan to enroll in Elementary School in 86 years, you better not tell Mr. Florb that we gave you the answers.

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