Dear Philosophy 202 Students,
I’ve received many questions and complaints from you about our extended nature walk, so I hope to address any concerns you may have about the direction of this trip in the following brief Q&A:
Why Are We Here?
We came to this park to appreciate nature and reflect on the impact of modern man on the environment.
Why Are We Still Here?
Your peer Jeffrey lost the map and I can’t get any reception on my iPhone.
Where Are We Going?
We’ll head in…that general direction. I don’t think we’ve passed that tree before, right?
What Does It All Mean?
We’ll eat Jeffrey first.
Will There Be A Curve?
Chris, if you ask me this question one more time I will construct a rain poncho out of your abdomen. Fucking Christ.
Is There A Higher Power?
We’d better damn well hope so.
So I hope this letter has proven to be informative and answers the questions you’ve been pondering the last 6 days. Any further concerns should be directed to Jeffrey’s face in fist-form.
May a higher power have mercy on our souls,