Things I Wish I Did vs. What I Actually Did During Hurricane Sandy

Last Sunday, when I heard that classes were canceled due to the pending Hurricane/Frankenstorm/Day-After-Tomorrow-Catastrophe, I thought the heavens had personally given me a gift.  I had two full days, during which I would likely be trapped in my room, forcing me to catch up with things that fall by the wayside when classes get crazy, like updating my résumé, cleaning my room, and feeding my pet snake, Jimmy*.

Unfortunately, I blew it. I fell victim to storm-of-the-century-induced laziness, and I was less productive than I’ve ever been. Below is a list of the goals I made for myself and what I ended up doing instead.

*Scratch that last one. Upon beginning to clean my room I quickly realized that Jimmy is missing. Side note: If you happen to find a snake, approximately 8 feet long with large, venom-filled fangs, please feed him. He’s hungry.

 

I meant to…

update my résumé. I made this goal after my experience at the career fair about a month ago. About 4 minutes before leaving for the fair, I quickly printed the most recent version of my résumé. I knew something was wrong when potential employers started asking me about the spelling bee that I won in third grade, my ability to finger paint, and the conversion factor of smiley face stickers to GPA points. Needless to say, my résumé needed work.

But instead I…

slept. My alarm went off at 11:00am on Monday morning. In my head, the plan was to get up and immediately begin working on my résumé. Unfortunately, the snooze button was more tempting than a Wawa hoagie after a Sammy late night. At 4:15, hunger finally got the best of me, and I got out of bed to begin eating my way through the Ritz crackers, cheese whiz, and astronaut ice cream I bought in preparation for the Noah’s arc-esque flood.

 

I meant to…

clean my room. Mom, if you’re reading this, just assume everything in this section is an exaggeration. Anyway, item 2 on my list was essential. Starting with the floor – I’m still trying to find it beneath a desolate wasteland of Jimmy John’s wrappers, old assignments, and shed snake skins. I’m afraid to open my closet, because I keep hearing something move around in there, and I’m not sure if it’s animal, a person or just a pile of overdue library books shifting.

But instead I…

played board games. I started to clean my room. I honestly did! But then I found Risk and Monopoly beneath what I thought were slices of moldy toast. I immediately had the urge to both take over Kamchatka and be the proud owner of Park Place and Boardwalk. So, I gathered a few friends and began to play. After a twenty-hour escapade that involved small plastic armies invading via the B&O railroad to capture the Luxury Chest, I stumbled back to my room and passed out on top of a pile of laundry. Mom, if you’re still reading, just assume it was clean.

 

I meant to…

do my laundry. So, as it turns out, the pile of laundry that I slept on was not clean. Unfortunately, I discovered this after waking up with my head next to the food-stained crotch of the pants I wore when I cooked chili last week. This just added to the urgency of the item on my to do list. Also, I realized that underwear can only be flipped inside out once. Someone should invent underwear with a third side for increased usage between washes.

But instead I…

watched all three Lord of the Rings movies. While gathering the dirty laundry from every corner of my room, I stumbled across my collection of Lord of the Rings DVDs, Legolas action figure (complete with working bow!), and 16-karat gold replica of the one ring. Game over. I immediately dropped what I was doing, popped the Fellowship of the Ring into my computer, and laid down in bed. Nine glorious hours and a battle-for-the-fate-of-human/elf/drawf/hobbit/ent/orc-kind later, I was tired from reenacting all the fight scenes as they played, so I took a nap.

 

I meant to…

catch up with Homework. When I heard the storm was coming, I was excited to finally catch up with the work I had put off over the past month and a half. I made a neat list of assignments that I needed to complete, starting with the homework due on September 15th. Although, I’m not sure I can still get credit for that one. Also, I sadly realized that studying for a midterm after the fact is useless without a time machine.

But instead I…

wrote a Punchbowl Column.

 

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