Thanksgiving Break: A Comprehensive Guide for those Left Behind

Andres Gonzalez, Punch Bowl Thanksgiving correspondent, tells you what’s up on campus this holiday.
Thanksgiving: a holiday meant for food, family, and getting the Hell out of this jawn. However, there are some of us who didn’t get invited to a local Thanksgiving dinner (“Wait, who’s this? You’re telling me that they allow brown people at Penn? What is the world coming to?”), or don’t have enough money to go home (alright, so you may have put a Hemo’s kids and grandkids through college). For the unlucky ones left behind, here is how you are going to spend this weekend.Wednesday
Expectation: Oh yeah, classes cancelled! Alright, now I might as well write down everything I am going to do this weekend. I am going to be so productive. I’m going into like montage mode; I might even climb the Art Museum steps for no apparent reason! I’ll be super prepared for the final stretch of the semester.
Reality: Oh yeah, classes cancelled! Fuck it, I’m sleeping in until the sun sets.

Thursday
Expectation: Alright, it’s Thanksgiving. I might as well make a nice meal and see if anyone else is left behind.
Reality: I hate it when the sun shines through the window and wakes me up. Wait, my window faces west. Fuck it, is Chipotle open?

Friday
Expectation: Alright, I have the whole day to do work. I am going to go to the library, do some research, get some good studying done. I am not leaving Van Pelt until I have something done.
Reality: Woke up at sunset again. Alright, so I haven’t done anything in two days. No need to panic. Hey, it’s Friday night. I might as well have myself a TV and movie marathon. 2 seasons of Adventure Time, 3 Quentin Tarantino movies, and innumerable Ben& Jerry’s pints later: Man, that Philadelphia sunrise is beautiful.

Saturday
Expectation: Same thing as Friday. I’m finishing everything today!
Reality: It’s 10 AM. I think I should get some sleep.

Sunday:
Expectation: I should have finished everything I sought out to do this weekend by today. I think I am going to spend today chilling watching some cartoons and movies.
Reality: Hey, everyone’s coming back! I think I’m going to go say hi to my friends and ask how their break was. Maybe I can get a few leftovers. Oh, wow, I can’t believe how fast time flies!

Sunday night, the most real night of all: I didn’t do shit this weekend. Oh, I have a 2 midterms and 3 papers due this week? Oh, don’t mind that noise. It’s just me in the fetal position crying myself to sleep.

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