Some of the high rises put up questions to ask the people in the elevator to make rides less awkward. I’ve come up with a list of the things people really want to say:
- You look familiar, are we Facebook friends?
- Did you REALLY just press the floor below mine after I pressed my floor?
- Can I have some of your pizza?
- Did we hook up?
- I sat next to you in recitation every week for a semester and you never noticed me.
- Did you just try to close the elevator before I got in? NAH UH BITCH.
- How do you feel about universal health care?
- I know who you are.
- Oh I wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heat with somebody, oh I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me! Oh shit, I didn’t see you there!
- Do you ever get scared that someone’s hiding in your apartment?
- Seriously Jimmy, are you texting to pretend you don’t see me?!
- Who farted?