BREAKING: Penngineers hacked into Playboy website to make us #1

In the aftermath of Penn being ranked Playboy’s #1 Party School this year, Punch Bowl’s top investigative journalists went undercover to find out how we obtained this top spot. The answer may surprise you…

First, we investigated a lead saying Amy Guttmann had paid Hugh Hefner off to keep her nude photos up in the iCloud, but that lead was dead cold.

Second, we called the Playboy offices and asked if they really meant Penn State. Surprisingly, they did know the difference between UPenn and Penn State, but were perplexed that UPenn had even made it into the top 10 party schools.

The lead came when our top journalist was eating dinner in Commons, as all the best journalists do, and overheard some sophomore engineers talking about their weekend at Penn Apps.

“Yeah, we just got so bored after we finished creating our app that can read people’s faces to tell you where you are most likely to know them from, so we hacked into the Playboy website,” one engineer said.

“We thought if we were ranked the top party school, next year we’d have hotter freshmen.”

Their next project will be switching Harvard to be ranked 30th Best School in the Country in the U.S. News and World Report.

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