Things That Mattered To Me This Week: Drake’s A Side Chick, Obama’s Racism, Mother of Six Is Bro-er Than You

Hello friends, here are some things I found interesting this week.

Drake is a Side Chick

Nowadays, it’s pretty safe to say that Drake is the number one trending topic on Sportscenter (started from the bottom now we here?). Most recently, the rapper/actor/thumb-with-eyebrows has frequently been seen courtside cheering on his hometown Raptors. However, as the old saying goes “these hoes ain’t loyal”, and Drake has not broken from this age-old adage. Drake has been seen around the NBA “supporting” some of his favorite players, and the pictures have not disappointed.

“Oh goodness Bron Bron, even though you look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame right now I’m still so proud of you”
Want to know what love looks like? Look at Drake’s eyes right now.
“Kobe, who could convict you of rape when the only crime you committed is being too darn silly?”

Ben Stein: “Obama is the most racist president ever!”

Last week, actor, political pundit and Galapagos tortoise Ben Stein began a string of guest appearances on Fox News that has lasted into this week. In these interviews, Stein has claimed that Barack Obama is the most racist president in the history of these great United States.

We here at the Punchbowl agree with Stein. Sure, Teddy Roosevelt supported eugenics and said, “society has no business to permit degenerates to reproduce their kind…”. And yes, maybe FDR imprisoned 100,000 Japanese-Americans for “threatening the war effort”. And we wouldn’t call you wrong for asserting that Woodrow Wilson was the one who made interracial marriage illegal. But yeah, Obama, stop being so fucking racist dude, not cool.

Ben Stein on his monthly commute to the Fox News studio.

Mother is six is bro-er than you

Lastly, in an inspirational story to help you push through your hump day, 44 year old mother of six Chris Kimbrough broke the women’s world record for the beer mile this past week, clocking in at an impressive 6:28. It should also be noted that Kimbrough broke this record at his son’s middle school, which also breaks the world record for biggest power move by a middle school mother ever. Frat stars, I’m looking at you. This woman had six kids and beat the beer mile world record by a full 13 seconds on her first try; what are you doing this weekend? Let this cartoon reflect what you should be doing.

Pertinent cartoon courtesy of Three Word Phrase.
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