Entire Penn Breakdance Squad Forced to Drop Out

In a sudden turn of events, the entire Penn Breakdance Squad has been forced to drop out of school after the cumulative GPA of the team dropped below 2.0. This is just another event in a troubled academic history for Penn breakdance clubs. Since 1963, when the first break dance team was created at Penn, more than 386 breakdancers have been forced to drop out – this is a staggering 18 times the average Penn drop out rate. The President of the former squad, Mikey “Funky Fresh” Collins, had much to say about the string of drop outs. “I just can’t believe it’s happening again. We even implemented mandatory study hours his year. Every member is required to attend nightly study hours from 7-11pm every single night, but no one on this damn team can pass a midterm if their life depended on it.”  Collins was forced to leave our interview abruptly, as he was about to miss his shift advertising their upcoming show by breakdancing on the Compass.

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