Finals season is a marvelous time for us college kids of America. Waking up on the morning of Reading Days and seeing the myriad of Buzzfeed links on Facebook is like Christmas morning and every emoji and “#procrastination” that accompanies these links is a present sitting under the tree. And sure, maybe America has seen enough Spongebob gifs to describe every facet of life, but I was always taught that recycling is a good thing. So I decided to try my own hand at writing* a Buzzfeed article. Hope you find it #relatable!
* – stealing
When you read your late uncle’s will and you find out you inherited a lot of money #FBGM #MakeItRain
When you found out your late uncle was killed by a falling Christmas tree and you need to avenge his death by brutally murdering the family of his killer
When you realize that you actually killed hundreds of human children instead of pieces of paper, and you’re fixating on the bone-chilling screams of murdered children #classicmixup #alsorememberthatWizKhalifasongNoSleep? #thatwasaprettygoodsongtoo
When you gotta take a snack break so you can think over your alibi!! #potassium
When you are still haunted by the skeletons in your closet and drink as a way to deal with your inner turmoil.
When you turn to a divine power to heal you from the influence of the Devil in your life and replace the blood of the slain children with the blood of #Christ
When your friends remind you that the forgiveness of God has no effect on the amount of jail time you will receive from this terrible act against humanity.
When you make a clever disguise and then celebrate by smoking a bag of meth and rocking out on the drums #beatz
When the police quickly see through your dollar store disguise and you decide to seduce them in order to get of this jam #TheOfficeShouldHaveEndedWhenMichaelScottLeft
When you successfully seduce the cops and you totally get away with it! #yaaaasss #50shadesofgreat!
Wow this article is so #me. I hope y’all could #empathize with these #finalsprobs!