Blizzard Biggest Disappointment Since Your First Econ Exam

Tonight, the potentially record-breaking snow storm Juno is supposed to hit Philadelphia. With predictions ranging from four to eighteen inches, students and professors were all hoping for a snow day, but the snow has yet to start falling. We here at Punch Bowl went out on the street to hear what people were saying about the non-blizzard.

One freshman engineer from southern California said, “I’ve never seen snow before, so I’m really excited. All my friends want to build a snowman, but I feel like that’s overdone. I’m going to build a snow drone.” When asked if any of his classes have been cancelled already, the freshman replied, “I do believe in snow days, I do believe in snow days,” and clapped three times.

Senior College student Beth Jensen said, “Yeah, whatever, I’m already in the snow day mindset, so I’ll just skip tomorrow anyway.”

A Wharton professor who wished to remain anonymous said, “I’d do insider trading with the snow gods to get 10 inches, but I think the feds are already on to me.” We asked why the professor wanted a snow day, and he said, “It’s hasn’t even been two weeks and you kids are already annoying me with your questions.”

Fortunately, nobody has yet been heard singing “Let It Go,” because we’re all fucking sick of that song.

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