PHILADELPHIA- In a few weeks, senior Lydia Malone will be graduating from college. Speaking to Punch Bowl, she explained her secret to graduating in four years. “My secret to graduating in four years has been bingeing on Netflix and strawberry lemonade Svedka.”
“If it hadn’t been for all those nights I stayed up until 3AM, watching House of Cards and/or drinking Svedka, I never would have frantically crammed in all my work the next day.”
Malone’s roommate concurred, “I never saw her do any work unless it was after a night filled with Svedka or Netflix! There’s nothing like a Netflix binge hangover to get you to do a problem set the next day.”
Earlier this week, another senior attributed graduation to “hard work” and “studying a lot,” but we all know she was just trying to look good.