It has been at this point well documented that Hillary Clinton’s knowledge of slang is limited at best. She has thus spent a large amount of time on slang research. During her recent trips to colleges she has been asking students to teach her to understand the way kids talk now so she can be more relatable.
The Punchbowl was able to interview her about her research and some of her findings.
“I’m just trying to get down with these kids and really catch their drifts,” says Hillary Clinton. “You see, after Donald called me crooked Hillary, a clear homage to my struggles with posture that I have overcome, I figured there was no way he meant ‘Nasty Woman’ as an insult. I mean no presidential candidate could seriously insult someone publicly like that.”
So she has spent time researching the college environment trying to glean the meaning behind all the things students say. “These students, my brothers and sisters from another mothers, are really helping me to understand. I mean just yesterday I learned that groovy isn’t a good word for cool anymore. Now the kids say dope! Like ‘Hey Hillary I use dope!’ It’s really pretty hip to reference drugs apparently.”
The majority of her research has gone into figuring out what other words can be used for cool. “The kids say things like wet, dank, swag, and even nasty to mean cool. When I heard that, I realized Donald wasn’t actually insulting me, he was calling me cool! He is telling everyone just how nasty I am, and I am the nastiest because I’m so cool and relatable!”
Hillary wants Donald to know that she finally understands what he meant and she also wants to thank him for saying what he did about her. The following is a statement she asked us to release to him:
“Hey Don, brotato chip, I’ve been getting jiggy with the words of the street and I wanna give you a shout for helpin’ a jabroni out. That was hella nice what you said about me. I’m finna help you out too. Homies, Donald can be fam doe”