PHILADELPHIA — Students noticed a flurry of activity outside of Capogiro early Wednesday morning.
John Rietano, longtime owner of the successful gelato chain, appeared stressed when questioned. “It’s just uh, well, our business downtown serves pizza now so we’re just trying to shift the focus a bit” he said in between loudly directing the various men unloading mountains of supplies from vans.
“It’s not necessarily in preparation for Joe Biden, we just uh, well, listen man we hear he eats a lot of ice cream, ya know? I can’t have have him clearin’ us out and leaving nothin’ for my valued Penn students.”
Meanwhile, Joe Biden was reportedly seen gleefully showing Jill various online reviews and filling out a color coded spreadsheet to determine which flavors he’ll try based on mood, weather, time of day, and political climate.