Today’s the Day: From Now on Ask About Spring Break Instead of Winter Break

Hey guys! Your friendly, socially savvy, neighborhood Pennsylvania Punch Bowl here with a quick tip! Next time you are having awkward conversation with someone, don’t ask about what they did for Winter Break. We are officially past that point. From now on, we at the Punch Bowl expect to only hear uncomfortable campus conversations about Spring Break plans.

For those of you that don’t have Spring Break plans, we have you covered. You can go to Punta Cana, Puerto Vallarta, and Cancun all in one week for the price of one tab of acid! All you need to do is go and buy one tab of acid! Best of luck everyone.

For legal liability reasons, the Punch Bowl does not endorse the above Spring Break plan and would recommend that instead you tell everyone that you, “really just need an actual break for once.” And so, for that reason, are just going to go home to argue with your mom for a week. But honestly, if anyone asks you, we still recommend you say you are going to Tijuana with a group of friends “from high school that you wouldn’t know” so that you can avoid any uncomfortable conversations.

Here’s a pro tip for keeping up the lie that you had a fun break when you get back: “Yeah dude it was so great that I don’t even remember any of it” and then, when they ask if you blacked out, you should say “haha yeah something like that.”

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