“That One Guy” Announces 2020 Democratic Presidential Bid

Joining the already crowded field for the 2020 Democratic presidential primary is That One Guy, who announced his White House bid today. That One Guy was a House Representative from West Virginia’s 4th district from 1993-2007, and previously served in the West Virginia Senate from 1987-1993. After he lost his bid for re-election in 2006, he thrice ran for House again, in 2010, 2012, and 2016.

That One Guy announced his campaign on the doorsteps of his ranch home in West Virginia, surrounded by approximately 5 people, all of whom we are pretty sure are related to him. He has a moderate record; he voted with Republicans about as much as Democrats when he was in the House.

He also had some choice words for Donald Trump, foreshadowing how he’ll take on the President on the debate stage if given the chance to be the nominee. “Mr. Trump, sir, you have not been the best President we have ever had and it is high time that you serve the American people no longer, sir.”

When asked how he feels taking on Senators Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Kirsten Gillibrand, and many other candidates, That One Guy is confident he can win because he is so vastly different from anyone who has ever run before. “I really think I am what the Democratic party needs right now,” That One Guy said. When asked if he felt like he was failing up to the presidency, he said he did not understand what that meant.

He has no social media accounts, but once his .net website is up and running, he plans to personally call the media outlets to alert them.

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