With College Basketball’s March Madness kicking off this week, a lot of questions are being asked about what other things should be needlessly pitted against each other. As a group of professional truth seekers, the Punch Bowl is looking to answer that question for you. In pursuit of knowledge we present to you our own inane competition:
Read below for our early opinions on who will win it all!
This is honestly a really mediocre region. Flossing of all kinds is pretty meh, the Punch Bowl staff is illiterate, and I never had a childhood. The only stand-out to me is prohibition. Those were some good years here in America. Everyone was sober, Thanksgiving’s were hell, no one was happy, and the government lost out on a lot of tax money. That sort of impact is the definition of a good fad.
Now THIS. This here is a region. West region, best region if you ask me. I mean think of all the decisions! Which weird internet phenomenon did you like more: seeing authority figures and general weirdos dump ice on their heads to get out of giving money to charity or people causing lasting lung damage by trying to ingest large quantities of a spice? Being happy, believing in humanity, and white people wearing corn rows are all top dogs. I think, however, there is a clear winner in being happy. What a silly fad that was. Humans…I mean umm… us humans are so weird.
Logan Paul. Logan freakin’ Paul. Name a better celebrity, I dare you. Also, coming clean, naming your daughter Brittany is a joke we stole from Hercules the Disney movie. Furthermore, there is an unfunny biology joke in here about an electron carrier. We’ve clearly stooped pretty low as an organization. I mean the whip/nae nae, flossing, and dabbing are all included SEPARATELY. Jeez we are getting lazy. In our defense, 32 funny fads is really a lot to ask for. Just saying.
Some rings, some shoes, some hair, and a pet rock. The clear top dog here, the one seed if you will, is pet rocks. I mean look at that little guy, he’s so cute. Pet rocks were wonderful! You could carry them around, not feed them, ignore them, and they never were upset or dead! If you put a mood ring on a rock it would always read “nonplussed.” Plus they have the added benefit of being useful for protection and window-smashing. Pet rocks all the way. On another note, froyo is just bad ice cream.