Nestled between College Sophomore Harper Smith’s “Beach Please” and “But First, Coffee” laptop stickers is one sticker that reads “Good Vibes Only.” The text of this wildly original phrase encircles a hand making the “Hang Loose” sign.
However, Smith is neither hanging loose nor releasing good vibes. The vibes she’s emitting are simply terrible.
At the time this article was written, Smith was:
- sitting, alone, with her belongings sprawled out over two tables in the packed United by Blue
- ignoring the sad, hopeful glances from other patrons who would have loved to use one of her two tables
- charging her Juul on using her MacBook Pro’s USB port
- loudly talking on the phone (using her AirPods, obviously) to her bestie (from home not her school bestie—don’t worry, Kenzie!)
- recounting her dream in which she got with her school bestie’s boyfriend (now you can worry, Kenzie)
- explaining that the dream was “like so wild and dramatic,” but that she was “honestly, kinda here for it,” then finally, thirty minutes into this one-sided conversation,
- asking her friend, “So anyway, what’s up with you?”
Upon ending the 45-minute call, Smith gathered her belongings and headed out of the coffee shop without purchasing anything. But not before loudly dropping her bright yellow Hydroflask that is pasted with her absolute favorite sticker: “Namaste, Bitches.”