Wharton suits: specially-sourced, limited edition, hand-roasted coffee brewed exclusively on their personal espresso machines

English majors: only black drip coffee, so they can “experience the true meaning and depth of the rich expression embodied by the coffee”

CIS majors: the one and only red eye in order to maximize caffeine and hot liquid intake, as suggested by their OCaml maximization algorithm

Pre-Health McSteamies: bone-dry cappuccino because bones and anatomy are LIFE

PPE majors: iced latte but only as a social experiment so they can discuss the economic impact of the product and the philosophy behind the popularity of coffee and caffeine consumption among Penn students

All STEM majors: espresso for all the depresso