Pumpkin Spice Flavoring is Among the Top Contributors to Global Climate Change

    It’s time to face a tough reality: pumpkin spice flavoring is one of the leading causes of climate change. It requires a great deal of resources from all over the world in order to create that special blend of flavors that white girls love so much. Research has shown that the sheer quantity of pumpkin spice flavoring demanded around the fall season has led to an increase in CO2 emissions from food distributors by over 12% annually.

    This trend begins far up the pumpkin spice supply chain in the rainforests of Sri Lanka. In order to cultivate the cinnamon, the main ingredient in pumpkin spice, branches are trimmed from Cinnamomum Verum trees. Due to the increasing popularity of this basic bitch beverage, the local peoples have been forced to forego nearly all other forms of agriculture in favor of cinnamon cultivation. This monoculture has devastated the local economies and has caused natural intake of CO2 to decrease by estimates of roughly 31% in just the last 5 years.

    And with Whiteclaw recently announcing its new line of pumpkin spice seltzer, the effects of this crisis are only expected to worsen. Experts suggest that by 2035, the global temperature could rise by 1.1 degrees celsius solely due to pumpkin spice related causes.

    When asked for comment on the situation, College junior Brittani Kelly said, “Sometimes that’s just the price to pay for a good latte. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to Sri Lanka anytime soon. I heard the beaches there don’t even have good backgrounds for Instagram.” It’s safe to say that the pumpkin spice problem will not be resolving itself anytime soon.

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