Tragic! Girl Thinks, “Let’s Get Lunch” is Actual Invitation

Sophomore Amanda Levin was crushed to find out that her old friend’s casual suggestion to grab lunch, shouted across Locust Walk at 11 AM while on her way to DRL, was not a sincere invitation to catch up over a hot carton of stir-fry at honeygrow and was actually just a way to avoid more conversation.

Amanda was elated when she bumped into her freshman year roommate, Jessica Stevens, yesterday morning. She recalls, “Yeah, I just hadn’t seen her in so long and she looked like she was doing really well. We used to hang out all the time when we lived in the same room and I really wanted to catch up.”

Apparently, Jessica did not feel the same way. Amanda thought something seemed suspicious when her three texts to Jessica went unanswered. Her messages, “Hey!” “So nice to see to bump into you today” and “Lunch next Tuesday?” each sent two hours apart were ignored by Jessica. At first Amanda thought that maybe something had happened to Jessica, maybe she twisted her ankle wearing those clunky Fila sneakers, or that she was just really busy studying for midterms. Then she saw Jessica’s recent Instagram posts bragging about being finished with midterm exams and complaining about boredom. Amanda was understandably upset by this and sought counsel from her roommate, Isabel.

Isabel was shocked at Amanda’s naievete. She told Punch Bowl, “Yeah, she should know by now that no one who says ‘Let’s get lunch!’ actually means it. Honestly, I only say that to people when I’m trying to get out of a conversation…like usually I like the person but if I wanted to talk to them I would just text them. Besides who has the time to catch up? Anyway, I am in Wharton so I have a lot to do, but talking with you has been great. Maybe we should finish this interview over lunch next week.”

Hang in there, Amanda!

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