Let’s be honest with each other. We both know we made a casual stop at CVS on Feb. 15th and/or 16th to peruse the 50% off Valentine’s Day candy. So, what can we do with the 3 large bags of individually wrapped chocolates we purchased? Here are 7 suggestions to help you finish your chocolate “guilt free.”
1. Leave a large pile of chocolates outside of your crushes’ door. You know the one I’m talking about — the one you only ever made accidental eye contact with during your Econ 001 lecture freshman year.
2. Better yet, leave a large pile unwrapped, outside in the middle of the Quad and videotape all of the squirrels coming to get a Valentine’s Day treat. Make some wholesome memories you can look back on when you get sad.
3. Chuck them at the back of random people’s heads during your Biol 101 lecture. (extra credit if you can hit your professor)
4. Stuff them into people’s mouths when you want them to shut up or you want to escape a painfully awkward conversation/interaction.
5. Hand them out in front of the statue near the Chemistry building while educating passersby about Coronavirus.
6. Melt down the chocolate and use it to 3D print a mold of Amy Gutmann’s head in engineering. Make sure the chocolate Amy Gutmann is big enough to fill your entire fridge.
7. Make another Amy Gutmann out of chocolate, because why not? You might as well take it with you to all your lectures, and feel free to eat or share the chocolate.
Happy end of cuffing season!
P.S. There are seven suggestions because Valentine’s Day is on Feb 14 AKA 02/14 and the inverse of 2/14 is 7.
Keep it sweet,
Punchy as a STEM student feeling the love.