Side Effects of the COVID-19 Vaccine Just for You!

Many students have found ways to “qualify” for the COVID-19 vaccine and are now experiencing side effects. For those who are planning to finagle themselves the vaccine but are concerned about things like 5G and microchips, the Punch Bowl has created a list of side effects just for you! Here are some effects that students have reported:

Mild COVID-19 vaccine side effects include:

  • Sleepiness
  • Sore arm
  • Better WiFi connection
  • Mild COVID-like symptoms such as headaches and coughing
  • Ability to talk to lizards
  • Superiority complex over the unvaccinated 

In somewhat severe cases, the COVID-19 vaccine can cause:

  • Enlightenment- the world is a simulation
  • COVID-19
  • You start to enjoy mask wearing
  • Sudden urge to buy Microsoft products
  • Ability to hack into birds (because they are drones)

In only the most severe cases, the COVID-19 vaccine has resulted in:

  • Switching your browser to Bing
  • Allergic reaction/anaphylaxis
  • You break out of the matrix
  • Full transformation into a lizard person

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