It’s the last week of classes! We did it! We all survived another semester staring at out computers for 16 hours a day with minimal human interaction. CIS majors may call that a normal semester, but we at The Punch Bowl understand how hard it’s been for the rest of you this past year. With finals looming around the corner like Amy Gutman at a fundraiser, and your brain looking like Commons mashed potatoes “mush” due to receiving a decade’s worth of blue light in two months, it can be very easy to miss the important stuff.
So we put together a little end of classes checklist together just for you!
- Make a scrap book with all of your Penn Open Passes
- BYO at Ken’s. Because it’s fucking Ken’s and that’s what you do.
- Tell your friends one more time you totally would have talked to your crush in class if it was in person.
- Moonwalk across the compass on Locust, because fuck superstition.
- Write all of those discussion posts you missed and email your professor saying you had Wi-Fi issues all semester.
- Immediately regret moonwalking across the compass and pray to every god you’ve heard of that you will pass your finals while also knocking on wood, throwing salt over your shoulder and crying harder than you did when your 6th grade boyfriend texted that bitch Allison Anderson.
- Contemplate how writing a paper on how multi-culturalism’s impact on greenhouse gas emissions in the South-Eastern United States during the winter solstice will really help you make a shit ton of money as an investment banker.
- Go outside. Just once. Seriously, you’re pale as shit.
- Delete Zoom! Because there is no way we’re going to need it next semester, right? Right?