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Mart Madness Round 1, East Preview

Mart Madness Round 1, East Preview

It’s time, folks! Mart Madness is here: which Mart has enough grit to make it all the way, for eternal Mart glory? Be sure to VOTE here! Steve Martin VS Martin Short The selection committee did an excellent job matching up two of the Three Amigos to face off in the first round. Martin, best known … Continue reading

Trump Decides Not To Cut EPA Budget After Watching WALL-E

Trump Decides Not To Cut EPA Budget After Watching WALL-E

After viewing WALL-E last weekend, President Trump took back his promise to slowly dismantle the Environmental Protection Agency, instead pledging his support for environmentalism. “Early on in the campaign, I promised the American people that I would eliminate all of these unnecessary regulations,” Trump said, referring to the environmental protections put into place over the past several decades. “But … Continue reading

PSA: Don’t Fart and Swipe

PSA: Don’t Fart and Swipe

Most of us have dabbled in the dating app scene at some point in college. Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, JSwipe, you name it. Some are seriously looking for a special someone, some are swiping “ironically,” and some use it cause they’re just plain bored. If you’re on your dating app of choice swiping away and you … Continue reading

What We Sacrificed for the Cubs to Win

What We Sacrificed for the Cubs to Win

It’s hard to remember when things were normal – when there was some sense of order in the universe. Hillary Clinton was going to win, the world seemed stable, and all was good. That all began to change, however, when the Chicago Cubs made it into the World Series. Suddenly, things didn’t seem stable anymore, … Continue reading

The Internal Monologue of Ivanka Trump

The Internal Monologue of Ivanka Trump

Ever see pictures like the below and wonder what the eldest Trump daughter and probable centrist liberal has really been thinking behind that frosty smile for, like, at least a year-and-a-half?  Punch Bowl has some guesses for you.  Oh Ivanka, we see right through you. I just wanted to be a Grace Kelly/Sheryl Sandberg mashup … Continue reading

Latest March Against Lactose Intolerance

Latest March Against Lactose Intolerance

WASHINGTON DC – Somewhere between 1.3 and 1.5 million people marched on Washington this past Saturday to protest the so-called “narrow-mindedness and downright hatred” that has permeated the dairy industry: lactose intolerance.  After a series of high-profile marches on Washington, including the Women’s March and the March for Life, policy experts predicted that it was … Continue reading